relax

i just went back to boston for about 24 hours for the christening of my godson. it was really nice to be with emily, matt, teddy and their family - i love that both emily's family and matt's family really make me feel like part of the family. it was a quick service (and teddy cried through most of it) and i promised to love teddy and help him learn about god and jesus. then we went back to emily's mom's house and had a party with food and cake and little kids running around. it was really nice.

the best part, though, was getting to spend some time with my mom and dad. it's amazing how i felt my stress level drop so much just walking into their home. i find a real home so calming and centering. i need to do more to make me feel homey when i'm here in new york - i think it will help me feel more grounded and ready to face the outside world. when we got back, i baked brownies and actually cooked dinner - it seems cooking helps calm me these days.

since it started getting cold, i've been itching to bake. i'm not usually interested in baking, but this fall, i've been excited to make pies and cookies and brownies. i'm asking santa for a kitchen aid stand mixer, and have dreams of making muffins and cakes and breads and cookies!

but despite all my efforts, i still feel like my stress level is way higher than it should be. i'm trying to figure out what to do to make me relax. because i can only cook so much...